i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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