I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
