And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
