before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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