i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Boobs are out for the taking
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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