Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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