this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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