I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Randomize
