This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize