yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I touched a dick in church today
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
