you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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