Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize