I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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