is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
