Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize