I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
