I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
