i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
