Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
