YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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