haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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