I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
