He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I want a musical about memes.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
