All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
