That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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