its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
