I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
