Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
