i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize