we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You smell like a Billy Joel song
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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