This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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