If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
