if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
