Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
