is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
