So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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