You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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