i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so let's talk penis.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
