doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
