wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
