So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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