im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize