That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
