Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
operation harelip BJ is a go
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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