Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
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