I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
