Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
