i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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