I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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