***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
