life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize