Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
they need to just BURY HIM!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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