wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
