we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
