xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize