Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
