I cockslap morals
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
