it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
