Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
