if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
