can we get nightvision for the apartment?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
