brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
