why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
