Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
