Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
