apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
